Hot Tamale

I was watching People in the News on CNN some months ago and they did this whole report on Mariah Carey and her great comeback. The interview pretty much was all about how everything she was wearing on her new silly incomprehensible music video made her look like a hot tamale. Someone explained to me what a tamale actually is but I have forgotten now. That's how interesting Mariah "i-am-so-ugly-fat-and-mad-luckily-i-can-still-sing" Carey is.

What has captured my interst though is this whole Sarong Party Girl issue. Now there's a hot tamale for you. Ok, I saw THAT PICTURE and if you ask me it's much ado about normal neneh's. They are small and she is afterall only 19 years old. Which 19 year old doesn't have nice neneh? Especially when they are A-cups? Dime a dozen if you ask me. But, her famous neneh is not what makes her a hot tamale in my books. Neither are her sexual expoits which, while interesting from a new mother "so I am interested to know what teenagers these days get up to" point of view, are not particularly exciting. Also, her writing style, which reflects an extremely good command of the English language, (an almost extinct species in Singapore these days, quick call the WWF people) is too intense and boring. Have to skip paragraphs to get to the juicy bits type. Hate that.

No, what makes her a hot tamale in my books is her balls. Gosh, this girl has balls and if I were a boy that would be the reason why I would take her to bed and have my cunnilinguistic way with her. I wish some men I knew had balls like hers. Most I know have peanuts which is why I don't get much action these days. And I live overseas and am surrounded by ANG-MOHS! And hamsum ones to boot.

What is it about the Asian woman attraction to Ang-moh men that makes everyone jump up and down in a frenzy and indulge in verbal/ink diarrhoea on a subject that has long lost it's place on primetime news?

I remember when I was 19 it was a mortal sin to be seen holding hands with a white guy. I was dating a white boy from UWC back then and everytime we went out I would forbid him from touching me in any way. PDA? Nope. What's that? Kindly put your hands in your pocket and walk at least one-body length apart. If not sure die in case a relative/neighbour/schoolmate/teacher/auntie-selling-chicken-rice-downstairs sees me.

Fast forward 14 years later and while White man/Asian woman PDA (and more) is as common as hearing Mother Tongue languages being spoken on the MRT, it still remains a thorn in the Singaporean side. Wah liau! Personally I blame The New Paper for this. Since no reporter on the team seems to be able to write a complete article in normal English, I guess they have to pick subjects where writers can use acronyms and local terms as much as they like.

SarongPartyGirl has this guide to being a super SPG on her site. Really funny but since she hasn't really managed to snare the rich angmoh with a big dick herself, I suggest that anyone looking for tips go and have a chat with an SPG who actually got the Tiffany engagement ring, lists her posh Sngapore River address on her IC/lives abroad in Kensington in London, 16th district in Paris etc, has kids in a private school and the maid and driver and find out how she did it. And whether she really did it for the Big Dick. (If she married an Italian, ask her to tell the truth about doing it for the money).

Also, she is 19 years old lah. Good grief. Better ask the lau bu SPG who has been there, done it, right?

SPG is a young girl finding herself. And she is not ashamed of going public about her growing pains. She is honest and will probably get what she wants out of life. Good on her. At least she has the balls to do it. Which is more than I can say about most people - Ang Moh, Singaporean or from space.

I used to like Asian men. Loved (*gasp*) some of them even. Until I was 21. Until the Pan-asian (hah! the irony) look was the only thing Asian men were interested in. Until I discovered Harry's Bar when it was one of 2 bars on Boat Quay. Until I found out that I liked ang moh men better. And that they liked me better too.

Hi, my name is tweetymanggis and I am an SPG.

SO WHAT ... SO SQUAT.