Expiration Dates (pictures)

It has recently come to light that most relationships have a use-by date.

It took me about 25 years to actually acknowledge this as a fact but hey, better late than never, right?

Why 25 years? Well, assuming I started listening to music at 8 and am now 33, that makes 25 years, right? I guess I should have known and accepted that all these songs about loves lost, broken hearts, cheating partners, and straying hearts and eyes meant that there REALLY are people out there wishing Doncha more often than not.

My latest flavor of the week is the song Don’t Bother. I must have watched the video like 10 times over the weekend in London (Gloria’s cable subscription is another story) and I just wonder, why would anyone cheat on Shakira? The woman is a sex goddess and I would do her in a second. Yes, I, Anita-the-not-gay-female, would do her, not my (God forbid) if-i-were-reborn-as-Pete Burns other-self. She is fuckin’ flamin’ finger lickin’ good HOT.

But I guess even finger lickin’ hot stuff gets cold and tasteless.

Why is that?

I know there a hundreds and thousands of articles in every single women’s magazine known to man (or woman, should I say), that tell us how to keep a relationship hot. I know of a gazillion other articles that instruct women on ways to educate partners to attain such skills.

So why is it inevitable that most of us hear a soft “phooot” (or in some cases, a big “POP”) after a couple of years of flying high in that hot air balloon together?

All bullshit if you ask me.

Personally my threshold is 4 years. I know of others who go up to five and I have no doubt that others yet are even able to manage 10 or 20 years even. But it happens.

It’s not that everyone then ditches their significant other or cheats or indulges in other types of nasty behavior. I think there is something left to be said (just) about commitment and integrity in mankind.

However, I think noone can say they have never been tempted. Or suffered from wandering eye syndrome. Or got off at the thought of getting hot and dirty with Cameron Diaz or Brad (as Tristan from Legends of the Fall). Or that boy from that J-Lo video (you know where she brays away and dances like a gypsy). Or even, for goodness sakes, Gianfranco, the Calvin Klein model lookalike from Mykonos?

It doesn’t matter whether you really do it or not (succumb to temptation both mentally and physically that is). The point is, your partner just ceases to “do it” for you.

PHOOT!

Get it?

And then everything just starts to go downhill.

See, it doesn’t matter that you are hot. Or that you are not hot. Or if you are Jenna Jameson in bed or if you are Olive Oyle (although she might just be a hottie, who knows). It doesn’t matter that you make sure you have date nights, and break routines with massage oil and Agent Provocateur underwear and adult toys. Because, the problem is that when we realize we need to go shopping in the red light district, it’s normally too late.

Dirty shopping trips should happen when you both still do it for each other. It’s called fanning the fires of passion as opposed to trying to reignite damp, or worse still, wet woodfire.

People stay together and don’t cheat on their partners for a variety of reasons. Kids, family, social stigma and even in some cases (gasp!) LOVE. But for all those that stay together and live vicariously through "the seriels" or, in their (dirty) thoughts, there are many others who just live double lives or start over again.

What's right and what's wrong? I don't think there is a right or wrong. I don't think I can say those who stay together with their spouses/partners for whatever reason are right, neither can I say those who cheat or break up are wrong. Afterall, isn't life about being happy? So how can you blame someone for wanting to be happy? Or wanting their partners/families to be happy?

All I know is that I don't want to be wake up one day and find myself old and gray, with little grandchildren running around me and wish I had done it all differently.

On a lighter note, I give you some pics from my trip in Singapore.
Didn't take too many unfortunately, as we were video-camming more. And i have a number on old-fashioned film (no scanner lah). But here is a peek into stuff I got up to back home.

Sentosa Spa

Here with Jude at the spa in Sentosa where we basked in the hottub with Anush and braved the freezing cold bath not once, twice but three times!! And we dunked ourselves COMPLETELY in the water. Very therapeutic. The best part of the day was experiencing Jude's driving skills for the first time. Fantastic driver. 40km/h and noone horned at us. She is my driving inspiration. Oh, AND she managed to park the car. What a chick!

Villa Bali with the gals - Villa BAli has got to be one of the most beautiful places in Singapore. And although I suspect they lurk, I did not see any lizards scampering around.

"I am sooo happy to see my good friend after 2 long years - and i just visited the dentist", said the girl who once drew like a hundred jumping piglets on a sheet of foolscap in school and told me it was a portrait of my future family.

At home

I am a powder puff girl! Don't believe I can fight monsters with this? You just ask my mummy what powder can do!

Singapore Zoo

Mummy, please stop taking pictures of me sitting in this stupid pram. I am hot, I want to move on to see animals, and I WANT TO GO TO THE PADDLING POOL!!

Ministry of Sound
Yup, MoS opened in Singapore and we went there a couple of time. On this particular night, Anushia managed to cunningly bypass the kilometre (literally) long cue by booking a table and 3 bottles of vodka to go along with it. Unfortunately, I was throwing up - had been for 3 days already. So I pretty much had 2 sips of vodka and headed to the prata joint for supper at 3.30am. What a LOSER!

MoS is really nice. The decor is great and I think the concept is cool. Unfortunately the patrons SUCK! Ah Beng, Ah Beng's brother Ah Kao, Ah Beng's sister Ah Choo and all their mates from Dong Dong Chang secondary school. (ok lah, got some exceptions, but the place is mega HUGE so the cool factor is mega-diluted. The door bitch's really gotta use a little more discretion if u ask me). Anyway, the prettiest people at MoS that night:


In the Pure Room


More Pure


My hair, by the way, is much nicer now, after having been coloured by Ash in Singapore and cut by Albert in London. You see what the issues I have to deal with living in Geneva?


Beanbag pleasuring in a vodka haze

Boxing Day

Yup, here we are at Bar NOne, AFTER the party started and ended...


Pretty, pretty

New Year's Eve

Aren't we preettee? so preeetteee? by the flower treeeeeee????


Test, test, 1,2,3 - try not to look like a donkey, Tweety


Maaameeeee!!! My skirt is croooked!! AND IT'S NEW YEAR'S EEEEEEVE!!!

Random photo taken in London in a really nice bar in SoHo before leaving for Singapore.


Thailand

Boat trip to Phi Phi Island and surroundings


The Hideaway Spa in Phuket. What a fantastic place it is. Went there on Jude's recommendation and it was sooo good, we went back for a second round of incredible pampering.

Before hols - Foire de Geneve

At the milk stand, Chiara is sitting on a cow that's been fashioned as somekind of chair. Whatever, she loves cows..and yes, those are udders behind her...I know, I know...

November

Mummy, please stop poking me with your loong nails, I am trying to smile for the camera!