It Feels Like Tonight

I want to fuck Chris Daughtry. I wonder if he actually taller than he looks on screen. But no matter. I have suffered the vertical challenge before and the old stereotype is true. It really doesn’t matter when you are doing the horizontal dance.

Back to Chris. Never had a bald man before but I am always up for a first. And up to now, I have always been partial to musicians with long hair. But his voice is so sexy and he is just the right balance of yum and un-pretty. He sounds exactly the way looks – you what I mean? What About Now indeed. Too bad he is married. And we all know that I am so not going that road ever again.

Other than that, I really like the music. I guess in today’s speak it’s called emo-rock or some shit like that and I like that shit.

Yes, I finally got my new iPod up and running and I am getting off on my music again. I know loads of people who tell me they cannot work while listening to music. For me it’s become essential. Music helps me focus my thoughts and inspires me to do more productive things other than checking out what happening on Eastenders.

What is it about Eastenders that I love so much? Maybe it’s the banality of life that I try so hard to keep at bay. Reminding me, never to fall into that trap.

It’s so easy isn’t it? To fall into the trap of metro-boulot-dodo as the French say. The kids, we all say. We have kids and a husband and a career and this takes up all our time. Is this true? Is this a reason to just throw in the towel? Maybe I judge. Maybe I am just too harsh. Just because it’s not something I want it does not mean that it is not right for others.

Which leads me to wonder then, why did I spend so much time chasing something I didn’t really want? I don’t want the house in the suburbs. The standard holiday schedule you can plan you waxing appointments around years in advance. The nights of cooking dinner while baby slumbers peacefully. Once-a-week date nights in that special restaurant by candlelight.

The fucking white picket fence that I just want to kick.

So why is it so hard to let go?